Some Real Talk

Hi Folks! Happy Saturd… I mean… Sunday! I know, I know. Another week without my promised freebie post. I need to get better at this, or maybe I need to just stop making promises.

Today I’m going to take a page from my lovely friend, Miss DeCarbo, and engage in a little real talk.

If you’ve been following me at all, you probably know that I had a beautiful baby girl in April and was on maternity leave through the end of the school year. That meant that I was home with my baby from April until September when we begin school. It was SUCH a blessing, and I am so thankful for all of my time with my sweet baby girl.

This past week was our first week officially back. I had gone previously to set up my room, but brought my cutie with me.

Can I just tell you, even though I know I got WAY more time than most moms get, it still didn’t feel like enough. Leaving my daughter ALL day when she had never been away from me for more than an hour was more than tough. It was almost unbearable. I love teaching, but it has been a tough week back. I love my new class, I love being back in first (although I forgot what a difference there is between first and second!), but all day long, I feel a little tugging on my heart. Constantly in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about if my baby is okay, if she’s eating, if she’s napping, if she’s crying and I’m not there for her.

It. Is. Tough.

I never realized how tough it is to be a mom and a teacher. I am entrusted with the responsibly of educating other people’s babies all day long, and I am honored to do so, but it is so tough to be surrounded by other people’s kids when yours is somewhere else. I know it will get easier (or maybe not), but I have a new appreciation for moms with kids.

I know so many mommies who have had to miss their own child’s back to school night, first day of kindergarten, etc etc because of their own school responsibilities. My heart breaks for them. I know that that’s life, but there’s something uniquely difficult about missing a milestone in your child’s life while contributing to other children’s milestones. I am honored to do it, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

From the second I pick my daughter up from the sitter until the second I put her to bed, all I want to do is hold her and play with her so I don’t miss any more than I have to. It might mean that I’m up late each night and extra early each morning to get my school work done, but it’s worth it to spend every second I can with her right now.

So, that’s why there’s no freebie post this week. I haven’t been able to motivate myself to do much besides snuggle my sweetheart when she’s awake. And in fact, I hear her waking up from her nap, so it’s time for me to run and steal smiles and snuggles.

I’m going to stop making promises I can’t keep. I do have freebies to share with you, a classroom to reveal, and back to school ideas and freebies I’ve used as well. And I will in the coming weeks… at some point. But they’ll have to wait until the baby is sleeping and my schoolwork is done.

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Primary Paradise

Primary Paradise

I have always had a passion for teaching and sharing with others and look forward to sharing my ideas with you!

14 Comments

  • Tara
    September 7, 2014 2:26 pm

    Well said!!! Enjoy your little one!

  • Cathleen Marie
    September 7, 2014 2:26 pm

    Bravo! Always keep your baby first.

  • Becca Adams
    September 7, 2014 2:44 pm

    Spend every moment you can with that sweet girl! I know exactly how you feel. Don’t worry about us or any promises…we’ve been there (and are still there) too. No need to justify anything. You’re doing great, Momma! I hope that week 2 is even better.

  • Arpil B.
    September 7, 2014 3:06 pm

    I totally agree with you and support you. Don’t worry about your blog reading friends.

  • Krystal
    September 7, 2014 3:41 pm

    I had my little boy in March and was on maternity leave until August. I understand your post and can relate to it 100%. It’s so, so hard!

  • Kristy
    September 7, 2014 4:55 pm

    My children are older (13 and 8), but your post reminded me to enjoy my time with them more. As they get older (especially the teenager) they like to go their own ways and do their own things leaving me to spend more time reading blogs. One less blog post just helps me find more time to reconnect with them! Don’t sweat it!

  • Tami Steele
    September 7, 2014 5:18 pm

    Enjoy your beautiful little girl. 🙂

  • Lesley Boatright
    September 7, 2014 5:31 pm

    Well said, Martha. I’ve missed more open houses and field trips than I can count because of my school responsibilities, and now my baby boy is grown up and living on his own and my daughter is 10 already. I wish I had those years back. I want a do over. So you are absolutely right to put your little one first. Becoming a mommy changes everything.

  • Thursday
    September 7, 2014 6:30 pm

    It is so very very hard. Hugs!! I did the full time work / single parent gig for 20 years, with my kids in day care 10 hours per day, 5 days per week. It’s so not worth it – for your kids, for your health, for you emotionally and psychologically. In the end, I walked out of work and never went back. Now we live very very simply – on 66% less income than before. But you know what? We are so much happier, healthier and now we are together. We homeschool, we travel, we play, we sleep in – whenever we want. If you live simply, you don’t need a lot of money. Don’t be conned by the advertisers and corporations – you don’t need their stuff to be happy. Find a way to support yourself to enable your family to be together – TpT, tutoring, other online businesses, etc. Read about minimalism and simplicity. Take back your life and your children. You only get one shot at this – and the years go by very very quickly. Hugs to all the mums and dads doing it tough. Just remember, you always have a choice.

  • Carol Polston
    September 7, 2014 6:58 pm

    Enjoy your time with your precious baby- it goes so quickly. There will be time for other things when she’s older. Your focus should be your family & whatever work you need to do to make it. Everyone understands. Blessings to you- I’m so glad your daughter has you for a mommy!

  • Primary World
    September 8, 2014 7:37 pm

    Martha- Skip the freebie, let the laundry wait. This time is precious!! Trust me I just dropped my oldest off at college and I swear it was just yesterday that he learned to walk!
    Everything will be ok, your priorities are focused on the right person!

  • Lisa
    September 8, 2014 10:09 pm

    I felt this way with my first child. It is so hard. I worked one school year after I had her and was blessed with the opportunity to job share. This is my sixth year of job sharing and I love it. I love teaching but like you my heart was breaking everyday. Maybe that is something you could think about in the future?

  • Sara J
    September 9, 2014 4:00 pm

    Martha,
    I read your post over the weekend and could totally understand and wanted to reach out and give you a virtual hug. I’ve been there and I totally get it. I went back to my classroom after my maternity leave for the last month of the school year. And I was miserable. I sobbed leaving my daughter the first day and I was leaving her with my mom!! It was hard. It got easier but my heart wasn’t in it. I felt guilty that I spent all this time with my students and so little time with my daughter during that month. I ended up taking a leave the following year and then resigning after that. So now I’m home full time with my two girls (2 and 10 months.) I love it. There are definitely days when it is hard and I tell my husband it would have been easier to have been in the classroom today but in the end I know I’ll never get this time back with my girls but teaching will hopefully always be there.

    There is guilt all the way around – guilt when you are in the classroom that you aren’t with your daughter or you aren’t getting it all done – guilt when you are at home that you walked away from a job and your degrees. It is hard and I don’t think you ever realize how hard until you go through it yourself. I saw plenty of moms who were teachers that made it look easy but I’m sure it is hard for them too!

    I’m rambling now but just hang in there and do what’s best for you and your family. I didn’t discover TpT and blogging until after I left the classroom so I don’t have any great advice on balancing it all. However, if there is ANYTHING in my store (Sara J on TpT) that could help you and save some of your planning or prep time so you can spend more time with your family, please, please email me and I would be happy to send it to you. Us moms have got to stick together! 😉 Hang in there!

    • Primary Paradise
      Primary Paradise
      September 22, 2014 5:30 am

      Aww Sarah, thank you so much for that!

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